ONE WOMAN'S QUEST TO MAKE HER BELLY SMALLER THAN HER BOOBS

ONE WOMAN'S QUEST TO MAKE HER BELLY SMALLER THAN HER BOOBS

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Intern

On Friday, I ran/walked 3 miles in 35 minutes, and the Intern seemed impressed. Then we did another Ab Set. But I was toast after running and so I just stretched while he did hundreds and hundreds of crunches.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Working out with the Intern

I don't really like to work out alone. I don't want to walk ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE PARKING LOT to my Lifetime Fitness and so when my regular work-out buddy Felicia couldn't make it to the gym today I was a little depressed because I knew that meant I wouldn't go either. But I'm fat right now and I'm going to Mexico in about a month, so I casually asked the hot, young, 23 year old college-graduate intern that I have been sexually harrassing for the past 6 months if he had a membership to Lifetime, knowing full well that he did. "I'm going at 3pm," he said, and so of course I told him I was going with him. I also told him I'm a social exerciser and need somebody to at least walk over to Lifetime with me. I agreed to work out on the treadmills. We walked over and when I got out of the changing room, he was already running, with a quarter-of-a-mile on the display at a pace of 8 mph. I walked for about 5 minutes and then casually sped up my machine until we were stomping, right. left. right. left. at the same pace. Depressingly I realized that my machine was only at 5.6 mph to his 8. These darn short legs! We ran "together" for about a half mile on my machine and then he left to go 'lift'. Lift. Doesn't that sound amazing and gorgeous? I saw that he had run 1.38 miles on his machine. In his absence, I ended up run/walking because it's been a while since I have run, and so I was glad when he came back by for a drink of water, I was on my short little run section of the run/walk. "You really picked up the pace!", (6mph) he mentioned and then walked toward the water fountain. Thank you for noticing...and thank goodness he hadn't come by 10 seconds earlier, as I was on the 2.8mph walk that lasted about 8 minutes. When I finally reached 2 miles (30 minutes), he asked if I wanted to do an Ab Set. "YES PLEASE", I answered, not really knowing what that was, but it sounded romantic. And it was. Until we did side planks, me facing the wall and him facing my clenched, shaking butt. Wonder if he'll want to work out tomorrow?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

5k Pub Run

Tonight I went on the most fun 5k ever. It started at Costello's in St. Paul, and basically went from pub to pub to pub along a 5k route. I have never drank so much beer. But the running sort of made up for it.

FUN!

Matt and Laurissa and ol' Gentle Jim came with and there were a total of maybe 30 runners. The pubs didn't know what hit 'em. Everybody got a real kick out of it...30 runners stopping into the pub for 10 minutes and a couple pitchers to share.

I met an Army dude back from Iraq, a 50 year old who has run 23 marathons and was just in Cape Town, a 31 year old graphic designer who put the whole thing together (an old homeless-y type dude at the first pub told her she "had nice shoulders" which was the weirdest compliment I had ever heard), a girl named Anne who I accidentally kept calling Amy, Tom from my marathon class three years ago, an older guy who I made fun of because he kept stretching... It was great. One pub we actually bought two pitchers of margaritas.

We rounded it all out at Cosetta's Italian place right by McGovern's. And now I'm home, and I feel very thirsty.

I don't know why I hadn't ever discovered drinking and running before. My two favorite things. Just kidding. I hate running.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Not a ton to report here

Did a strength class on Monday where I did 1,000 squats as per usual and then was too busy at work to do anything for the rest of the week.
So today I ran 3 miles and then biked 5. It was alright, the weather is perfect. I gave a guy a high five but he didn't get it and I ended up just slapping his hand anyway. Idiot. Sometimes I get deliriously happy when I'm running, and I just sort of expect that everybody else should be too. Also the music in my headphones makes me want to dance, but you can't dance while you run, but you can pump your arms in a sort of white-boy dance and so that's what I do. Also, I sing. I can't help it. Today, it was Madonna, that song about 'please don't say you're sorry, cuz I dont wanna hear, blah blah, can't take it anymore' and then I forget that other people can only hear me sing and they can't hear the song in my headphones, so it's like a-capella singing out of breath and out of tune.

Well, like I said, happy when I run.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

So we ran 8 miles on Saturday!

Thank goodness Anna came over on Friday for girls' night and we drank tons of wine and then on Saturday morning, felt a little groggy but ran 8 miles anyways. We did a little walking, but not too much. From my house to the Rose Garden at Lake Harriet and back is precisely 8. Anna was also sick with a cold so I'm super proud of her for even going, plus this is the farthest she has ever ran!
She did the half marathon relay in Maple Grove, so 6+ miles was her longest run.

Anyways, my hips and knees and ankles and shins were SORE. But I drank lots of booze again on Saturday night (as anyone who is in training will tell you, it's important to drink lots of alcohol.)

Then today Murphy and I rode bike for 5 miles. That loosened up my leg muscles a little bit. They were super tight.

Tomorrow I have my 20 minute core class, followed by a 2.2 mile run around the swamp by my office...this half is coming up fast, but I'm not too worried about it. I am so lazy. Now that I have run a marathon, I think of a half marathon as a "breeze", and "no big deal". I know that sounds weird, but it's kind of how it is. Even though the running lots of miles is kicking my butt.

Anyways, next Saturday we plan to do 11 miles and then the following Saturday is the big event.

PEACE

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Strength training

I just did 6,985 squats and tomorrow I will not be able to walk.

Not really running that much...I ran/walked two miles in the Falls. Went to Big Vic and back one day with Nancy and Laurissa. It went really well. it's always nice to have people to talk to.

Today the instructor in strength training actually did the whole one hour routine. I was super-impressed.

The half marathon is only like 3 weeks away. I am up to five miles (last week.) I am not running any long runs this weekend because I'll be in Rochester. So on the 18th I'm going to run 9 miles and on the 25th I'm going to run 11.

I hope.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Didn't run six...

But I did run 5! And I found the other shoe to the shoe that I found the other day! Two Shoes. Men's. Steve Madden's. Size 10ish. Located at 50th and cedar, if you're in the market for a pair of shoes.

Also the shorts are still there. They are just shredded. Weird. And I found a pair of pink big undies today too.

The reason I only ran five is because I set my alarm to get up at 6:15 and go run with my old running club, but snoozed until 9, and then called Kasey to see if she minded me picking up Murphy at 10:30. I went out, and actually had a very decent run. I have been walking a lot because I'm not quite up to speed, but today I didn't walk very much at all. I took about three 25-yard walk breaks. Not bad for five miles. I'm going to try to run more than just once a week and that should help too. I ran two miles on Saturday and that really helped today's run. So I'll try to keep that going. Tomorrow I have core class again and then Tuesday it's Pilates. Wednesday and Thursday I'll try to put in a morning run, just a shortie.

Random thought on the run today:
Maybe I could have tried to bring Murphy WITH me, in the jogging stroller?

Also, Murphy and I rode 7 miles on the bike this evening.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ran two miles today

Was supposed to run 6, but my schedule got in the way.

But I ran two. I saw a pair of shorts on the trail, and a shoe. One shoe.

I always find it so interesting when people lose one shoe. Or a pair of shorts for that matter. Were they in a fight and somebody threw somebody's shorts, or shoe out the window to get mad? Were they about ready to make mad passionate love in the park and the shorts came off in the dark and they couldn't find them? Did a dog drag them around and onto the trail?

It's kind of weird.

And then I imagined myself bringing cookies to the guy who bought my piano, and wondered if he would think that was weird.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Core Class

Yah so the teacher for my Monday Core Class is a huge Nazi and she makes you do stuff that she's not doing. Now, I get it, they teach 7 classes a day probably, and they probably work out a little bit in each one, but the whole "Come on!" "Keep going!" would be easier to take if she wasn't like having a sandwich in the corner criticizing my every move.

20 minute class. Easy right? WRONG. I am SO SORE today, in my back. Because of the two minute planks which actually ended up being 8 minute planks. I didn't even really do them for more than like 30 seconds at a time, and today I can barely walk.

But I really enjoyed today's Pilates class. The teacher gives 4 levels of strength, so you just pick which one you want to do and everybody does their own amount of reps and you BURN your stomach the whole time. It was awesome. I couldn't keep the huge ball between my feet though, which was kind of embarrasing. Also, my hipflexors are that of an 80 year old woman, from running, so some moves I can't even do. For instance. Down on one (right) knee. Other (left) leg straight out to the left. Now put your right hand on the matt about shoulder width out, and lift your left leg and do ten circles clockwise. Now ten circles counter clockwise. Now pulse. Pulse. PULSE! I had to sit that one out, because of all the clicking and cracking in my hip bone, ew and ouch.

Tomorrow, core class again! I expect to lose 100 pounds by Friday.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Woohoo!

I couldn't procrastinate any longer. Had to do it. So I did! Ran around Lake Nokomis and then down to the stoplight by Fat Lorenzo's and then back home. 4.5 miles. Good enough!

One funny thing that happened is when I was running by the beach on the north end of the Lake, there was a tiny little Latino Boy whose family was having a lovely Barbeque was crouched down by the trail. He had a skateboard in front of him and he was pushing it back and forth sort of revving it up and I knew he was going to try to shoot it out onto the trail just as I ran by, but he made a critical mistake and made eye contact with me and so then he felt bad and didn't do it.

Also a lady on a bike zoomed past me and it really scared me because she didn't yell out that she was coming (On your left!) and she came up on my right. I was like 'wwoooh!" and she just shook her bitchy head because I was on the bike path and so therefore it was all my fault. I felt mildly better about the situation when I got up to the stop light and there she was, running a red light. So I decided she was just rude anyways.

I feel like a million bucks!

Yes it's only 4.5 miles, but that ain't too shabby. And tomorrow marks my first core fitness class during lunch.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

what the?

So I didn't run 5 miles today. And my stomach is hanging WAY over my pants, right now I'm naked except underwear and I can't see the underwear if you know what I'm sayin'~

So I didn't run because I had to watch Kasey's kids and also because it was like 100 degrees. I'm going to run tomorrow *wink*

For exercise today I ate two bowls of cereal, 4 french fries, an ice cream cone, a bowl of ice cream with Kasey's homemade toffee sauce on top, and ravioli with veggies. Also I drove around in my car for 3 hours dropping Karley off in Ham Lake.

August 1st. That's like 40 days away. EEK

Friday, June 19, 2009

Working on my Fitness

So...in 2009 I have run a total of 7 miles. I signed up for the Urban Wildland Half Marathon on August 1st, so I'll try to blog how a crazy person trains for 13.1 miles in 6 weeks. It can be done I think.

I joined Lifetime Fitness yesterday! So today I dutifully went to a spin class. At noon, right smack dab in the middle of my work day. This is a huge big deal for me, because I have spent the last 6 months working so MUCH, with never so much as a piss break, so I am so EXCITED to be able to get away from my desk and actually take a lunch.

But, I HATE the gym. I hate the dirtiness of it. I hate the sweatiness of it.

My inner Pollyanna will say that there is a bright side. The instructor motivates you like crazy and the music is always ridulous and awesome.

So, the spin class was just like you see in the movies! A bunch of people on fake bikes with towels around their necks, biking and pedaling and 'spinning' for an hour. And the guy goes "UP!" and everybody stands and pedals. And then he goes, "ADD SOME LOAD!" and then you turn this little knob and suddenly you are going up a hill! (but not really). And then he says, "think about your GOALS!" and I actually said out loud "FLAT STOMACH!" but the music was so loud so nobody heard me. haha



I was sort of going down hill because my bike seat pointed forward and down and it was hard to stay on it. Also I'm used to a normal outside bike that coasts. These bikes don't coast. if you stop pedaling, they WHIP your legs forward and that happened to me like ten times and then my feet fell out of the pedals a few times too.

And I forgot water.

But, it was fun and stay tuned for more updates on the training. I plan to run 5 miles tomorrow, if my legs will let me.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Motivation?



Today I got an email for the Urban Wildlands Half Marathon in August. I am really ready to get in shape again.

But then somebody brought a bag of Lay's Potato Chips to the office and some creamy dip and I took a bath in that and spent the afternoon in the Chip bag, rolling around and taking 5 minute snoozers.